


Fervid As A Flame

by Leodrawsinclass



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Bisexual Arthur Pendragon, Bisexual Character, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, Roommates, Sharing a Room, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Theatre, Theatre kid Arthur, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans guy Merlin, gay merlin, the AU that no one asked for, trans Merlin, very specific AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16655848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leodrawsinclass/pseuds/Leodrawsinclass
Summary: Merlin Emrys is anxious to start his new life at Camelot University. Only a few months into his transition and eager to make a fresh start, he knows that Camelot is the place to be. But then he meets his snobby, theatre-obsessed roommate Arthur Pendragon, who makes Merlin’s new life a living hell--especially when Merlin gets roped into helping him in Camelot U’s theatre production. The two find each other infuriating. But what if they’re more alike than they think? And what happens when the two start developing feelings for each other?





	1. All It Takes Is One More Step

**Author's Note:**

> Notes at the end =)

Merlin wasn’t sure he had ever felt more out of place. He had been on the campus of Camelot University for about three days now, two of which he had filled with unpacking and decorating his half of the dorm and then hibernating and living off of Cheez-Its and microwave mac and cheese because he didn’t know where anything was and wasn’t quite ready to brave the campus in its full force just yet. Besides, his roommate wasn’t supposed to show up until that night—Merlin figured he should enjoy the privacy while he still had it.  
At least, that was until he had the misfortune of bumping into his RD last evening as he ventured from his nest to the bathroom at the end of the hall. Gaius was an odd fellow, apparently an old friend of Merlin’s mother and the one who had originally recommended the university to her even though Merlin had never met Gaius himself and had no idea how they had actually met (though he suspected it was through medical school). Something about the old man’s shoulder length silver hair and his socks and sandals told Merlin that he had been quite the free spirit in his day. The scent of lavender and something else hung in a cloud about him so strongly that Merlin could actually taste the bitterness in his mouth.  
“...and I could greatly use your help.”  
Merlin found himself nodding before he realized what he was agreeing to. The lavender was intoxicating.  
So that was how Merlin found himself in the quad at 8:30 in the morning, passing out fliers to something he knew next to nothing about. And the thing was, the only other people who were out and about at this god-forsaken hour were the other poor saps who had gotten roped in to passing out fliers to random events and clubs.  
He glanced down at the eye-melting yellow sheet of paper in his hand. Gaius’s Holistic Club, it read. Then, sprinkled about the page, _Crystals! Essential oils!_  
_Weird!_ Merlin thought.  
Still, he figured that the fastest way to return to the peace of his room was to pass out all of these fliers as fast as he could. But there was no one else around. Because who in their right mind would out in the quad when they could be sleeping, or getting a nice breakfast...  
Wait a second. That gave him an idea.  
Merlin still didn’t exactly know the layout of the campus. It was freaking huge first of all, and he wasn’t great with directions anyway. But he could hear noise. A soft chattering from a near distance.  
The cafeteria, most likely.  
So that was where Merlin headed. Immediately, he shoved two fliers into the hands of a pair of friends walking out the double doors. Excellent. He’d be back in his room at no time. All he had to do was forcefully shove a tacky yellow paper at every person exiting the cafeteria.  
Except, unfortunately for Merlin, the next person to walk out of the cafeteria already had an armful of fliers and a fierce scowl on his face. He eyed Merlin up and down warily. Merlin was so focused on not gulping like a cartoon character that he just left his arm outstretched with yellow monstrosity between them.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” the stranger said. He was tall and weirdly buff, and Merlin thought that his red v-neck made him look pretentious. True, Merlin himself was wearing a scarf and Doc Martens, but he had good reasons for those. This guy looked like he wore fedoras unironically and referred to movies as ‘films’.  
“Passing out fliers to the holistic club,” Merlin said. He tried to keep his tone light, so that the snob wouldn’t know how cowed he really was. “Want one?”  
“No,” he said decidedly. “Because I have already claimed this spot so that prospective students can learn about our drama program. There is nothing more important then the arts.”  
“Oof, you sound stressed. I hear that essential oils are good for that.” Merlin held up one of the fliers so that it blocked his face. “Or perhaps you can find which crystal will best heal your aura.”  
The tall, pretentious stranger did not find this groovy in the least. He opened his mouth, most likely to bite back with a dizzying retort, but the cafeteria doors opened just then and a blonde, wide eyed freshman skittered through.  
Merlin flashed her a grin. “How do you do? Would you care for a flier about our campus’s holistic club?”  
She looked slightly dazed, but she accepted one anyway and left before the tall, pretentious stranger could tell her about the joys of Camelot’s drama program. Merlin smirked at his rival, only slightly afraid that he was about to get punched.  
Instead, he just narrowed his eyes. “Oh, it’s on,” he whispered.  
*  
As it turns out, Merlin was pretty good at petitioning for causes he cared nothing about. Perhaps it was his relaxed smile, or his rivals intense expression and wordy soliloquy's, or perhaps it was the two working in tandem, but Merlin found his stack depleted by the time the theatre nerd opposite him had only passed out three of his.  
Despite wisdom and common sense telling him not to make unnecessary enemies, Merlin shot his rival the smuggest grin he could muster. “Well...guess I’ll be seeing you around.”  
If the stranger’s glare has been withering before, it was positively deadly now. “You prat,” he sputtered. “You stole my spot.”  
“Yep.” Merlin brushed his hands together like he was wiping the dust of the place off of him. “But that’s okay. You can have it back now.”  
The stranger’s face grew a dangerous shade of red as he scrambled for words. Merlin thought it best to get the heck out of dodge.  
*  
He spent the rest of the day in his room, dozing off and watching Netflix on his laptop. Not too shabby, all in all, especially after he swallowed any guilt he felt about not eating real food in the caf now that he knew where it was. He’d brave the cafeteria once classes started.  
Still, Merlin was slightly on edge for most of the day in anticipation of his roommate’s arrival. He knew next to nothing about his roommate. He’d learned his name, at one point, but he’d promptly forgot it. Merlin’s mother had encouraged him to contact his roommate ahead of time, but Merlin had decided not to, not wanting to look like an over eager freshman (even though his transfer credits technically made him a sophomore).  
When it was around six and the roommate still hadn’t arrived, Merlin decided to get out of bed and move to his desk instead. It was best to meet someone new with a bit of dignity still in tact, he supposed. He also switched from his flannel pajama pants to the jeans he’d been wearing earlier. After a bit, he caved and put his red scarf back on. It was rather cold in the room, after all.  
Merlin’s roommate didn’t come for at least another hour. Merlin had decided to get a head start on a reading for one of his classes only to discover that it was actually quite interesting. He started writing notes as he read, marking interesting thoughts and passages so that he wouldn’t forget anything before the class discussion.  
And then the door burst open and Merlin jumped, causing his pen to draw a big black mark through his notes. He scowled at the damage done, but then he looked up at his roommate.  
And of course, it was none other than the tall, pretentious stranger himself.


	2. There’s Been Some Confusion Over Rooming Here At Camelot

Merlin took one look at his new roommate and immediately longed for death. Apparently his roommate felt the same way, because he took one look at Merlin and rolled his eyes. His shoulders slumped, causing the duffel bag on his shoulder to slide off onto the floor. “Please tell me I’m in the wrong room.”

“Please tell me _you’re_ not my roommate.”

“Are you…” he glanced at the phone in his free hand. “Merlin Emrys?”

“Yep. The one and only.”

He sighed and tossed his duffel bag on the bed that Merlin did not claim. “Great.”

“Rough day, I take it?” Merlin asked.

He scoffed. “No thanks to you.”

“Ah. Yeah. About the fliers…” Merlin was going to apologize, or at least try to smooth things over, but his roommate interrupted him with another, more violent scoff as he started emptying his bags. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Fine then. Merlin returned to his reading while his roommate busied himself with making his bed and hanging his posters. Turns out, he had a ton of Playbills. Like, a ton. And most of them were covered in signatures. _Catch Me If You Can, Waitress, Les Mis, Legally Blonde, Tick Tick...Boom!, Falsettos_ , and dozens more. It would be impressive if Merlin gave a rat’s behind about theatre. He got the feeling that his roommate was into little else, which would no doubt grow very old very quickly.

Merlin wanted to ask for his name, but decided not to risk conversation again. Not worth it. Instead, Merlin learned it from a signature on _The Addams Family Musical_ Playbill that was addressed to him. _To: Arthur_.

Hmph. Arthur. A perfectly stuck up name for a perfectly stuck up twat. With an absolutely perfect jawline. Merlin tried not to be jealous.

*

Merlin’s first class the following Monday was at ten o'clock. Arthur’s, of course, was an 8am class, meaning that his very shrill alarm rang out at 7am, immediately dragging Merlin out of whatever sleep he had just barely managed to sink into. The alarm continued screeching every few minutes until 7:25, when Arthur fell out of bed and started getting ready very loudly and very slowly. Seriously, Merlin had never realized how annoying someone brushing their teeth could be until Arthur did it at the butt-crack of dawn. Still, Merlin pretended to be asleep until Arthur stumbled out the door. By that point, Merlin was wide awake with no hope of going back to sleep anytime soon.

So, he hung out for a while and played on his phone, but he soon grew really hungry. He reached for the box of pop tarts on his bedside table only to find that it was empty. He must have eaten the last one yesterday, after he ran out of his Cheez-Its. Merlin debated on just waiting until lunch to eat. He had a two hour lunch break, meaning that if worse came to worse, he could just take some food back to his dorm to eat. But he knew he’d do better in class if he ate something first, so he reluctantly slid out of bed.

It was time to brave the cafeteria.

Merlin took his morning meds and brushed his teeth (much quieter than Arthur did, he’d like to add). He slid on his binder and a fresh pair of jeans--so fresh, in fact, that they still had the tags on them. His mom had surprised him with some new clothes for the start of the school year, in addition to a new pair of hi-top Vans. Merlin was relieved. He’d never had many clothes, but he really didn’t have much in the way of men’s clothes. He was still wearing girls jeans this summer, and they were starting to fit oddly due to the changes that testosterone brought. New clothes--new masculine clothes--had been a welcome sight indeed.  He pulled on an undershirt as well and a blue flannel shirt.

The cafeteria was...complicated. It was divided up into different stations, but they were all spread out across the first floor of the student center. And most of them weren’t open for breakfast, leaving Merlin to wander around and try not to look lost. After lapping the floor twice, he ended up at the entrance again where he accidentally made eye contact with a girl. He tried to look away, but she smiled at him too quickly. “Can I help you?” She asked.

Merlin sighed. “I’m just trying to get some breakfast.”

“Ah.” She tucked a strand of curls behind her ear. She had a head full of gorgeous dark curls. They bounced and twisted with every movement of her head. “Are you a freshman?”

“Yeah. Well, I’m new.”

“I was just heading to breakfast myself. You’re welcome to join, if you want.”

She seemed genuinely sweet, like she was actually trying to help. Still, a small part of Merlin wondered if she was into him, which made him nervous. He was gay, sure, but he wasn’t heartless.

“Yeah, that would be awesome.”

“Cool,” she grinned. She led him to the stairs around the corner. “I’m Gwen, by the way.”

“I’m Merlin.”

“Huh.” She nodded a few times. “Merlin. That’s an interesting name.”

“Thanks. I picked it out myself.” Oops. That one slipped out before he could stop it.

“Really?” Gwen stopped at the top of the steps to look at him.

“Y-yeah. It’s an old family name.” That was his quick answer whenever people asked about his name. Really, it’s what his mother had always said she would name him had he been assigned male at birth. She was a history teacher, but her specialty was in legends and mythology. Apparently, she’d come across the name Merlin in an old book while she was pregnant with him and thought it’d be perfect. When he came out as trans, it was the first one he chose and the only one he tried. His mom had been thrilled.

“You’re lucky,” Gwen said. “I always wanted a name with a ton of history. My name just came from a baby name book.”

Merlin looked up and saw a sign for Einstein’s Bagels. “Is this it?”

“Yep,” she said as she pranced in, dropping her light pink backpack at a spare table in the center of the room. “Can you believe this place is included in the meal plan? There are a few other breakfast places across campus, but I usually go to this one because most of my classes are in Monmouth Hall next door. It just makes things easier.”

Merlin nodded as he joined her in line. They both had to wait a while, but that was alright. Merlin took the time to look over the menu and figure out what he wanted.

“You can go ahead,” Gwen offered when they got there.

“Oh no, please. Ladies first.” Merlin loved being able to say that now.

Gwen grinned at him and placed her order. Merlin watched her closely so he would know what to do when it was his turn. He was terrified of making some stupid freshman mistake.

But he placed his order of a blueberry bagel and large coffee like a pro, and scanned his ID card with absolutely no problem. And he was insanely grateful that he was able to give his real name when the cashier asked for the name for the order. It was such a relieving feeling to know that he never had to give his deadname again in a place like this.

“So,” Gwen scooted her chair closer to the table. “What are you majoring in, Merlin?”

“English Lit, for the moment. But that’s liable to change. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.”

“Yeah, I totally understand.” She picked at the pink nail polish on her thumb nail. “I was a communications major to start off with, but I quickly realized that that wasn’t for me. It’s alright if you switch around a lot. You have plenty of time. No stress. Well...there is some stress. Minimal stress. I mean, it is school.”

The employee behind the counter called Gwen’s name then, so she stood up to go get her breakfast. Merlin’s was called a moment later. He scrambled out of his chair, eager to finally eat. They both sat down with their breakfast at the same time.

“So wait, what year are you?” Merlin asked as he swiped cream cheese across his bagel.

“I’m a junior.”

“Ah okay. I’m a sophomore technically, because I have some transfer credits.”

Gwen popped the lid off of her latte. The steam swirled out in a great puff. “Neat. I wish I had done that. So, um, what classes do you have this semester?”

Every single course that Merlin had registered for immediately escaped his mind. “Uhh...I have Shakespeare at ten.”

She brightened. “Ah, no way. I have Shakespeare at ten. Who’s the professor?”

“Um…” At the moment, Merlin could barely remember his own name. “I don’t know. It’s something weird.”

“Professor Pendragon?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Yay! That’s the class I’m in. And I’ve had Professor Pendragon before.”

“Is he good?”

“Yeah,” she said, with only a note of hesitation. “He’s an amazing professor, very wise, he’s just also really strict. His classes can be hard, but they’re _so_ worth it. Trust me. Professor Pendragon is one of my favorites. He’s actually my boyfriend’s father.”

Merlin couldn’t help but be a little glad to hear that she already had a boyfriend. Before he could ask about him, Gwen checked her phone.

“Oh dear,” she said. “I’d better get to class. I always like to get there early, but you don’t have to, of course.”

He shrugged. “No, that’s alright. I like to be early too.” Besides, Merlin would rather just follow Gwen to class so he didn’t have to stress about finding the right building and the right classroom.

He wrapped the remaining half of his bagel in a napkin and scooped up his coffee.

“Our class is just over in the next building,” Gwen said. “I’ll show you.”

Monmouth Hall was indeed just next door. They walked past the campus auditorium and down the stairs to the first floor. He thought it was kind of weird that his lit class was in the music building, but he supposed it had something to do with the size of the class.

There were a few students waiting out in the hall, most sitting on the floor and playing on their phones. Gwen leaned against the wall outside of the classroom, beside the bulletin board.

“So,” she asked, “are you thinking about minoring in theatre, or switching your major to it or something?”

Merlin felt his stomach twist at the word ‘theatre’, a reminder of his unfortunate roommate. “No,” he said, probably a bit too emphatically. “Definitely not. Why would you think that?”

Gwen frowned, and opened her mouth to respond, when she was distracted by the girl who turned into the hallway. Merlin could hardly blame her--she was absolutely gorgeous (no hetero). She had dark hair like Gwen, only hers was sleek and wavy and much longer, and a stark contrast to her pale skin and green eyes. Her face split into a grin when she saw Gwen.

“Hey Gwen,” she greeted. Merlin raised an eyebrow when she reached out and stroked Gwen’s arm in greeting. “I was so glad to hear that you’re in this class as well.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.”

The other girl’s eyes cut to Merlin, and he suddenly felt uneasy. The girl had a strong presence (“a powerful aura,” as Gaius would describe it). He made himself hold eye contact with her and nod in greeting.

“Who’s your friend?” The girl asked Gwen, still looking at Merlin.

“Oh,” Gwen squeaked. “This is Merlin. I met him at breakfast. Merlin, this is my friend, Morgana.”

Her face softened slightly, and he felt himself relax in turn. She gave him a cool-kid nod. “I’m Morgana Le Fay,” she said.

“I’m Merlin.”

Morgana gestured at the door as it opened and students shuffled out. “Is this your first Pendragon class?”

He nodded.

She scoffed. “Good luck.”

Morgana squeezed her way into the classroom, Gwen following close behind. Merlin had to wait a few moments for the crowd to clear before he could wiggle his way in. He sat down behind Gwen, who smiled at him before turning back to Morgana. “I don’t think he’s that bad,” she said.

Morgana snurled her nose. “Please. You didn’t have to live with him for fourteen years.”

Merlin wanted to ask if they were still talking about Professor Pendragon, but decided not to pry. He wondered if there was anyone on campus who didn’t have some sort of connection to the professor.

He pulled out a notebook and a pen as Professor Pendragon himself entered. His face was cold, his movements precise and automatic. He set his briefcase on the teacher’s podium, pulled out his notes and pen, and turned his back to the class to write on the whiteboard.

 _Shakespeare_.

Professor Pendragon started to write the class number and other information on the board, but before Merlin could read it, he glanced at the door as it opened again.

And in walked Arthur.

Merlin had to bite his cheek to keep from cursing out loud. He watched Arthur as he strode across the room in his pretentious sweater and khaki chinos and sit down in the front row, to the left of Gwen’s desk. He patted her hand and smiled at her softly. It was the first expression Merlin had seen him make that wasn’t a scowl. Arthur must be Gwen's boyfriend that she had mentioned. 

Then, Arthur noticed his roommate for the first time, and the scowl quickly returned. “Merlin,” he said, “I didn’t know _you_ ’d be here. What, are you a theatre major too?”

“No,” Merlin exclaimed. “Why do people keep thinking that?”

“Um, maybe because you’re in a theatre class?”

Oh no. “What?” Oh no.

“No no,” he protested, “no, this is a lit class. This is a lit class. I’m a lit major.”

“Mmm, I don’t think so…” Arthur cut his eyes at the board, where Professor Pendragon (Arthur’s father?? By deductive reasoning) had written the class id THT 220.

This had to be a joke. He looked at Gwen for confirmation, and she nodded and smiled sympathetically. Then he looked at Morgana for good measure, and she shrugged and smirked. She actually smirked, like some cartoon villain, like she found the whole scenario delightfully amusing. 

“I must’ve signed up for the wrong class,” he mumbled in explanation, though he was positive Arthur had quit paying attention by that point. “I was supposed to sign up for the Shakespeare lit course, but my computer was acting up and-and I must’ve hit the wrong class.”

He snatched up his notebook and pen and the rest of his breakfast and stood up. Just as he did, he made eye contact with the terrifying Professor Pendragon himself.

“Are you leaving?” The professor asked, though it felt more like an accusation.

Merlin plopped back in his seat. “No. Sir. No sir.”

He paused for a long moment, and Merlin feared for his life. “Excellent,” he finally said. “Let’s begin then, shall we?”

As soon as he turned his back on the class once again, Merlin smacked his forehead against his notebook. A theatre class. With his terrible roommate. And his terrible roommate’s entire family, apparently.

Just great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title also from What Is This Feeling? from Wicked. I get the feeling that there'll be a lot of chapters with lyrics from this song lol.  
> As always, please feel free to leave kudos or comments. Everything is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	3. Gotta Lotta Brains But No Polish

As soon as class was over, Merlin ran back to his room and fired up his laptop. This whole class mix up was just a silly mistake, he was sure. He could fix it in just a few minutes, and get signed up for the proper class in no time.  
Only, the Shakespeare literature course was completely filled up. 40/40 seats taken. Merlin sighed, groaned in frustration, and pulled up the PDF of his four year plan. He did some digging, and soon found that all of the other classes he needed for his major either required another course as a prerequisite, were completely filled up as well, or weren’t offered that semester.  
_Dammit_.  
Merlin lingered on his current class schedule. He longed to drop his current Shakespeare course, but then he wouldn’t have enough credit hours to be a full time student--and if he wasn’t a full time student, then he would lose his scholarships.  
Essentially, he was trapped. Trapped in a course he wasn’t interested in and trapped with a roommate that he couldn’t stand. Merlin glanced at Arthur’s side of the room, at the dozens and dozens of musicals posters. He couldn’t help but crack a grin when he saw a Playbill for _My Fair Lady_ unashamedly pinned above his desk. Maybe Merlin had judged Arthur too early. Maybe he should give him another chance.  
*  
Then again, maybe not.  
Merlin got back to his room around 6:30 in the evening, after getting through his afternoon classes, spending about an hour on homework, and then eating in the cafeteria. He was already sleepy, but decided to try and get some reading done first before crashing for the night.  
However, Arthur had other plans, as Merlin discovered. He entered their room only to be greeted with a wall of sound that took him several moments to decipher as a show tune. Because of course it was. This was Arthur.  
At least he had the courtesy of turning the volume down a couple of notches when he noticed his roommate’s entrance. Merlin was surprised he’d been noticed at all. Arthur was thoroughly absorbed in whatever he was working on, hunched over his notebook and the half a dozen books he had opened.  
Merlin sat on his bed for a few minutes, but he quickly realized that there was no way he was going to be able to concentrate on anything important, what with the Broadway Showcase happening. He had no idea how Arthur was able to concentrate. Merlin was very close to suggesting that Arthur invest in a pair of headphones, but didn’t want to make things worse--especially now that he was in a class with him.  
Still, Merlin had reading to do for his morning class, and he knew that it wouldn’t be happening in his room. So, he emptied out all the unnecessary textbooks and notebooks out of his backpack, grabbed his phone charger, and headed out to the dorm lounge.  
“Merlin!”  
Merlin jumped slightly at hearing his name exclaimed from down the hall the second he stepped out his door. But of course it was Gaius.  
“Good evening, Gaius,” he said, hoisting his backpack up onto his shoulder.  
“You’re just the man I wanted to see,” he said, pointing a finger at him. Somehow, Merlin was both surprised and not surprised at all to see that his fingernails were covered in dark red nail polish. “I wanted to thank you for helping me with the flyers the other day. You know, I’ve received five emails from students who are interested in the holistic club.”  
Honestly, five emails was actually a really good number. Much more than Merlin would have expected.  
“Our first meeting is this Friday,” he continued. “We can’t wait to see you there.”  
“That’s...wait what?”  
But Gaius was already shuffling down the hall. “See you on Friday, lad.”  
Merlin tried to protest again, but then stopped. It wasn’t worth it. Besides, going to just one meeting shouldn’t hurt. His mother had insisted before he left for school that he be nice to Gaius because he was one of her oldest friends, and Gaius had known Merlin since he was just a baby.  
Merlin stepped into the dorm lounge, which was surprisingly empty. Most of the time when he passed through the lounge, there would be large groups of friends hanging out, or at least a couple or two cuddling on the couch. Not this time though, lucky enough for him.  
He stopped at the vending machine to get a cold coffee drink as he checked his phone. He had a text message from Freya, one of his best friends from back home, which she had sent to the group chat.  
_Freya: @Merlin how’s university treating you?_  
Merlin grinned, though he felt a small pang in his stomach. He missed home. Well, he missed some things about home. He missed his friends, and he missed his mom. But he certainly didn’t miss high school.  
 _Not bad_ , Merlin responded. _I just got roped into going to this weird club on Friday. Oh, and I’m self exiling myself from my own room because my roommate has Broadway aspirations._  
His other best friend, Will, responded just as Merlin sat down and popped open his drink.  
 _Will: Omg  
Will: Getting stuck with a theatre kid as a roommate. RIP dude_  
Merlin took a swig of his drink and replied, _well your roommate’s gonna have to live with a band geek, so I think they’re the real victim here.  
Freya: He’s got ya there  
Will: …  
Will: I hate you guys_  
Merlin chuckled slightly and pulled his book out his backpack. He had a short story to read for Intro to Lit, which, as he flipped through his Norton Anthology, turned out to be not so short. He took another sip of his coffee.  
 _Freya: Other than being a theatre kid, do you like your roommate?  
Merlin: He’s kind of annoying. His Dad’s a professor here. But I don’t really know him yet._  
He turned back to his homework. A moment later, his phone lit up with another text.  
 _Will: Well my roommate is awesome. You know why?  
Will: Cuz he’s also a band geek  
Will: So SUCK IT_  
*  
The next evening, as Merlin shuffled back to his room, he could hear Arthur’s music before he even opened the door. Merlin knew next to nothing about musicals, so he had no idea which one his roommate was currently blasting, but there were lots of voices singing different melodies and overlapping each other, so he was guessing that it was some large dance number.  
He braced himself when he opened the door, clenching his teeth against the sensory overload as he plopped his backpack down next to his bed. Arthur didn’t even look up. If he heard Merlin come in, he certainly didn’t act like it. He was hunched over his desk, his highlighter tapping against the open book and his lips forming words with no sound behind them. At least not that Merlin could make out.  
Merlin crossed to the mini fridge that Arthur had brought and grabbed a water bottle. Surely, it was the least Arthur could do. He guzzled down about half of it and hopped up onto his bed.  
 _Ugh_ , he sent to the group chat. _Arthur is playing his awful music again._  
A moment later—as if Freya was staring at her phone, waiting for a message—she said _so play your music even louder. Maybe he’ll get the hint.  
Will: Or you could just ask him to turn it off. You know, like a normal, not passive-aggressive person.  
Merlin: Pfffft what’s the fun in that?_  
The song ended, and Merlin sighed, a bit louder then necessary. Arthur looked up and cut a glance at Merlin, probably just now noticing his presence.  
“Do you think you could turn that off or put some headphones on or something?” Merlin asked while he had his attention. “I need to study.”  
Arthur’s scowl was fearsome. “I can’t study without music.”  
“I can’t study with music. Especially...” He waved his hand in the direction of Arthur’s speaker. “That.”  
“Don’t you have somewhere else you can go then?”  
“Don’t you?”  
Arthur sighed, like he was being greatly inconvenienced, and yanked the speaker cord out of his phone. “I guess I can go to my girlfriend’s room, if she’s free.”  
“Gwen’s your girlfriend, right?” Merlin asked, pulling his textbook out of his backpack and flopping against the half a dozen pillows he had on his bed. “Does she likes show tunes as much as you?”  
“Yes, Merlin, she is a theatre major after all. Showtunes kind of come with the territory.” He scoffed. “I couldn’t imagine dating someone who doesn’t like theatre.”  
So there went Merlin’s chance at ever dating Arthur. Not that he’d ever want to.  
“Why, cause theatre is ‘your whole world’ or something like that?”  
Arthur shot another glance at him. “Something like that,” he said slowly. Then, he glanced down at his phone and muttered a curse that Merlin couldn’t quite understand. “And she’s busy. Great.”  
Merlin’s polite-side urged him to tell Arthur to play his music anyway, but his ears, still ringing slightly, told him otherwise. “So what are you working on?” He found himself asking, though it was probably nothing more than an effort to distract himself from the open textbook on his lap. “It looks pretty intense.”  
“That’s because it _is_ intense.” He pulled the highlighter cap off with his teeth and underlined something in his book. After a moment, he continued with “It’s Shakespeare. Of course it’s intense.”  
Merlin sat up. “Shakespeare? Did I miss an assignment or something?”  
“No, this isn’t for class. Relax.” He underlined something else. “Though we do have a quiz on Friday.”  
Merlin was well aware. He was going to start studying for it tomorrow.  
After another moment, Arthur said “We’re doing The Tempest for our fall production. The cast list was just posted today.”  
“Oh, what part did you get? Wait, let me guess.” Merlin put his hand on his chin, like he was seriously pondering this. “You strike me as an Ariel the fairy.”  
Arthur was not amused.  
“No, wait: Miranda. Yes, you’d make a wonderful Miranda. If Professor Pendragon is into really progressive productions.”  
He scoffed. “He’s not. Trust me on that.” Arthur flipped a page in his book. “I was cast as Prospero.”  
“Ah. The great magician.” Merlin wiggled his fingers in the air, like he was casting a spell.  
“Hmph.”  
“What?” “  
I’m surprised you know Shakespeare.”  
Ouch. He would definitely be telling his friends back home about that one. “Well, I am an english major.”  
Arthur just scoffed again before returning to his lines. After a minute, Merlin returned to his reading. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I hope everyone who celebrates it had a great Thanksgiving. Just as an FYI, I know I’m going to be really busy with finals these next two weeks, so it might be a while before my next update. I’ll get it up as soon as I can, but in the meantime I love reading your comments or getting kudos. It really makes my day.  
> Chapter title from My Shot from Hamilton (which I’m getting to see on tour next month. I’m so excited!)  
> Happy reading!


	4. Just Be Fine And Cool And Chill

Merlin slept in just a bit too much the next morning, but he had just enough time to pick up breakfast to take to Shakespeare with him. He ordered the same thing as he did last time--a blueberry bagel and large coffee--because it was good and he figured there was no sense in messing with a good thing.   
There was only one employee at Einstein Bagels that morning, and if his crazed look and uneven apron were any indication, there needed to be more people behind the counter.   
“Busy morning?” Merlin asked as he scanned his card.   
“Yeah, I’ll say,” the employee said.   
“Hey, are you guys hiring?” Merlin didn’t have a huge need for extra cash, since he’d paid for the meal plan up front. Still, he needed to save up for extra expenses next semester, and that wasn’t even touching on what he would do after he graduated. Plus, he’d been saving up to get top surgery for years, and he still had quite a ways to go. A job was fairly essential.   
“I have no idea man,” the guy said. “But you can apply for a campus job on Cam U’s website. That’s how I did it.”   
The employee had to go help the next student in line, so Merlin waited around for his food, and then headed to class. But he made up his mind to check into job applications as soon as class was over.   
Everyone was already sitting down by the time Merlin got to class, and Professor Pendragon glared at him as though he was fifteen minutes late instead of five minutes early. He sat down quickly, in the desk behind Gwen once again. He took a sip of his coffee, which didn’t have enough cream in it. He was hungry, but he felt like Pendragon would give him an automatic F if he so much as took a bite of his bagel.   
Professor Pendragon leaned against the podium, his face as cold as a marble statue. Merlin realized that the Professor’s resting face looked eerily similar to Arthur’s annoyed face, which Merlin definitely got an eyeful of last night. He wondered just how similar the father and son were. Clearly they both shared a passion for theatre.   
Merlin yanked his notebook and pen out of his bag and just barely had time to write his name and the day’s date at the top of the page before Professor Pendragon dove into his lesson. He sped through the information at an alarming rate, but fortunately Merlin knew a lot about the topic, which covered what was known about Shakespeare’s life, his involvement in Elizabethan drama, and a few of his contemporaries such as Marlowe and Ben Johnson.   
After class, Gwen turned around in her seat and gave Merlin a broad grin. “Hey,” she said, “I don’t know if you’re busy right now, but Morgana and I are going to go get lunch if you want to join us.”  
“Yeah,” he replied. Sure, he’d just eaten, but he wasn’t about to turn down an extension of friendship such as this one.“Yeah that sounds great. My next class isn’t until two.”  
Arthur stood, and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder before crossing over to where Gwen stood. He placed his hand on her back. “I’m heading to class across the hall, but I’ll see you tonight.”   
“See you then.”  
He leaned towards her, like he was going in for a kiss. Gwen hesitated for a long moment, her eyes darting around, before she gave in with a small peck and a pat on his shoulder. Merlin couldn’t help but notice that her cheeks were bright red and that as Arthur walked away, she held up a hand to touch her lips.   
Morgana flashed Arthur a grin as he squeezed past her. “Bye Dad.” Arthur just rolled his eyes and kept walking.   
Merlin grimaced, but Morgana only laughed when she noticed his expression. “Oh my god no,” she said. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m just his daughter in the play.”  
“Oh.” Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I thought you guys had some weird sex thing going on.”  
“Hell no.” She swiped a strand of hair out of her face. “Don’t be disgusting. Arthur’s practically my brother. I grew up with him.”   
“Ew. What was that like?”  
Morgana stopped and turned around in the doorway. “Ehh, it had its ups and downs. Lots of downs.”  
“Oh come on you guys,” Gwen said, speeding up her pace to walk by Morgana. “Arthur isn’t so bad.”  
“Of course you would think so,” Morgana said.   
Gwen pressed her lips into a thin line and looked down at her shoes.   
“Yeah, how did you and Arthur happen?” Merlin asked. Was he prying a bit? Sure. But he was genuinely curious about how Gwen could end up with someone like Arthur.   
“We met freshman year,” she said. “But we didn’t start dating until last fall. We just started talking more, and then he asked me out.”   
He was still insanely curious, but he got the distinct feeling that Gwen didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Merlin imagined that if he had a boyfriend, he wouldn’t be able to shut up about him. But then again, straight people were rather odd.   
*  
That Friday evening, Merlin trekked down the hall to Gaius’ place. He tried to wait until exactly when the meeting was supposed to start so that he wouldn’t he wouldn’t get roped into conversation with anyone or roped into some other obligation that he did not care about, but Arthur had other plans. He was back on his show tune habit, and there was only so much of that that Merlin could take.   
Gaius smiled when he opened his door and adjusted the bead necklace around his neck. “Merlin,” he exclaimed. “Come on in, lad.”  
Gaius’ place was cozy, though much larger than every other dorm. The kitchen was connected to the open living room, and the entrance to a hallway that probably led to his bedroom and bathroom was right next to the tv on the wall. Other than that, it was decorated exactly how Merlin would have guessed Gaius would decorate his room—cheesy 60s memorabilia meets modern hippie. Dozens and dozens of succulents lined he window sill, and there were at least three lava lamps scattered about the living room. A shag rug rested on the floor underneath the couch and loveseat, and on these couches rested the few members of the club that had arrived early.   
“We already have a few people here,” Gaius continued. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable. Help yourself to some hors d'oeuvres.”  
Merlin sat down on one end of the loveseat, next to a guy from his theatre class that he didn’t know. The guy shot him a grin as Merlin leaned forward and dipped a carrot stick in hummus. “Hungry, are you?” He said.   
Merlin nodded. “Just a bit.” He’d actually had dinner not that long ago, but he wasn’t about to turn down free food.   
“Yeeeaaah, me too. Though if I were you, I’d eat your fill now. My buddy Percival will be here in just a minute, and then the food will be as good as gone.”  
“Hmm. Good to know.” Merlin grabbed a few more carrot sticks.   
The guy grinned again, and Merlin couldn’t help but notice once again just how handsome he was. Then again, Merlin was a sucker for guys with longer hair.   
“I’m Gwaine,” he said.  
“Gwaine, huh? I’m Merlin.”  
“Well, it is an absolute delight to meet you, Merlin.”   
Merlin knew he’d have to be careful around Gwaine and his scruffy charm, or else he just might be in great danger of falling for him. Then again, Gwaine struck him as fairly straight. He was wearing a North Face jacket, for goodness’ sake.   
A minute and three carrot sticks later, Gaius led a boy who could only be Percival into his living room. Percival was a football player. Merlin knew this from just looking at him. For one, he was huge—tall and muscular and broad shouldered. He carried himself with the confident aloofness and casual smirk that most athletes bore, so it was no surprise when he plopped down on arm of the loveseat next to Gwaine and said “phew, sorry if I’m late. Coach kept us over time.”  
Gwaine reached up and clapped Percival on the knee. “No problem, my dude. We haven’t even started yet.”   
Percival grabbed a handful of crackers from the table. “What even are we doing at this thing?”  
“Beats me,” Merlin said. Then, in a lower voice, he confessed, “I’m only here cause Gaius wanted me to be.”  
“Kinda same,” Gwaine said. “Gaius invited me, and I love the guy. Plus, I needed a break from homework and play rehearsal.”  
Merlin almost choked on his carrot. “You’re in the play too?”  
“Yeah,” Percival said around a mouthful of crackers. “I’m playing Caliban.”  
That made so much sense.   
“And I’m playing Stephano,” Gwaine said. “So I get to act drunk all the time. That’s fun.”   
For goodness’ sake. Merlin just couldn’t escape theatre kids.   
Gaius stepped in front of the tv, a wide cheshire-cat grin spread across his face. “Alrighty,” he said, clasping his hands together, “who here knows what their star sign is?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So...sorry about the long hiatus. I was busy with finals, and then over the break I was either working or working on some original stories for my grad school applications. But I'm back now. And my updates should become more regular, but I do have a busy semester, so we'll see. Still, it's good to be back! I love seeing comments and kudos. :)  
> Chapter title from More Than Survive from Be More Chill


	5. "God, I Hate Shakespeare!"

Merlin sighed heavily, staring at the small slip of paper on his classroom desk. Sure, he hadn’t thought that he’d done great on Friday’s quiz, but he at least thought that he’d passed it. Nope.  
In front of him, Arthur leaned over to Gwen’s desk and showed her his test. A big fat ‘A+ 10/10’ was written at the top. “Good job,” she whispered, and showed him her paper. She’d only missed one question.  
Merlin hurriedly stuffed his test sheet into his notebook.  
Professor Pendragon took the podium then. Merlin could practically feel the shame rolling off of the professor, like he was personally ashamed in Merlin even though he probably didn’t care. Still, Merlin determined that he would start studying more for these quizzes instead of relying on his previous knowledge. Besides, there was a ton of quizzes, and they were only a small portion of his grade. Merlin could make it up.  
“We’re going to be reading six Shakespeare plays this semester,” Professor Pendragon said, even though he’d gone over that the first day of class. “Two comedies, two tragedies, a romance, and a history. And, because this is an acting class, three times this semester each group will present a memorized scene to perform to the class.”  
Merlin’s eyes bugged. He was not an actor. Not in the least, and certainly not compared to most of the theatre majors in the class. He could just imagine Arthur’s face as he fumbled over his words. And that wasn’t even getting into how bleak his grade would be after his inevitably disastrous performance.  
“The first scene will be performed in two weeks, so before I begin today’s lecture on The Merchant of Venice, I’ll allow everyone to partner up so that you may begin practicing as soon as possible.”  
Merlin watched as people all around him partnered up--Gwaine and Percival, and then Arthur and Morgana. “This is advantageous,” she said. “We can get a jumpstart on memorizing our scenes, Dad.”  
Merlin breathed a sigh of relief when Gwen made eye contact with him. “You wanna partner up?”  
She cut a glance at Arthur and Morgana, then nodded. “Yes, please.”  
Merlin wasn’t sure how he felt about playing second fiddle to Arthur, but he supposed it made sense, as the two were dating, after all.  
“I hate performing,” he confessed to her.  
She nodded. “Me too. I much prefer dealing with everything behind the scenes. I don’t like a whole lot of attention on me.”  
“Understandable,” he responded. “At least we can suffer together.”  
***  
In the dorm hallway that evening, Merlin experienced two odd but not unpleasant instances in rapid succession. The first was that he was not hit with a wall of sound as he usually was, that emanated from his and Arthur’s room and was discernible to some as hit Broadway tunes. The relief from this usual assault was slightly unnerving. Merlin wondered if Arthur had resigned himself to headphones at last, or if Gaius had tuned in to the daily barrage of noise and had talked to him about it. Or perhaps--  
Merlin immediately lost his train of thought when he glanced down the hall. Arthur neared the bathroom, and Merlin immediately recognized him, despite the fact that his back was to him and he was clad in nothing but a towel around his waist. Merlin couldn’t help but gape at the strong muscles rippling across his back and the round shape of his calves flexing with every step. He should move, should avert his eyes and dash for his room Arthur could notice him. But he couldn’t. He could only stare, frozen.  
Arthur turned to enter the bathroom at the end of the hall, and he must have caught sight of Merlin in his peripheral vision. Their eyes locked. It was only for a moment, but it felt like it lasted forever, in that unique, heart-stopping way that intense eye contact is.  
Just as quickly, Arthur disappeared into the bathroom, and Merlin was left ogling thin air. He blinked, shook his head, and continued on into his weirdly silent room.  
Phew. That was awkward.  
***  
A week later, as Merlin was leaving his Tuesday morning class, he checked his phone to find a text from Gwen.  
_Gwen: We should probably get started on our scene for Shakespeare soon, huh?_  
Merlin had been trying not to think about that particular assignment, but ignoring homework forever was not always wise.  
_Merlin: lol yeah. What are you doing this afternoon? I’m free after 4:15._  
 _Gwen: Me too! Wanna meet in the library? We could claim a study room._  
 _Merlin: sounds good. See you then._  
At 4:20 that afternoon, Merlin and Gwen entered the library at exactly the same time. They found an empty study room in the upstairs area, and Gwen set her old copy of The Merchant of Venice on the table.  
“I looked over the scenes that Professor Pendragon approved,” she said, “and I quite liked the ending of Act One Scene One. It isn’t fairly long, and the context is pretty easy to grasp.”  
Merlin dug his copy out of his backpack, and flipped to that scene. “Okay. Yeah, that looks good.”  
“I was also looking at the scene immediately following that one, with Portia and Nerissa, but I figured you wouldn't want to play a girl.”  
Merlin shook his head adamantly. He firmly believed that cis men should be more flexible when it came to things like that, but Merlin was not a cis man, and playing a woman would make him massively dysphoric. He’d spent enough of his life pretending to be a girl.  
“And I don’t really mind playing a guy in this instance. Any preference on which character you want?” She jumped slightly when her phone buzzed on the table. “Sorry, this is Arthur. Give me just a moment.”  
Merlin’s mind immediately conjured the image of Arthur in the hallway at Gwen’s mentioning of him. To distract himself from thinking about his friend’s boyfriend that he really didn’t like but secretly found to be kinda hot, he flipped through the Merchant of Venice scene, refreshing his memory about the story and the characters. True, it had barely been a week since he’d read this one, but time in college existed on another plane. One week in college time was the equivalent of a month everywhere else, when it came to the stimulation of events. Which Merlin used to comfort himself about Arthur and why he kept thinking about him in that damn towel.  
“I think I’ll pick Antonio,” Merlin said when Gwen put her phone down. “He seems pretty gay. At least for Bassanio.”  
Gwen snorted. “Of course you’d pick the character with shorter lines.”  
Merlin shrugged. “Can you blame me?”  
“Fine then. I’ll just play Bassanio and blow the class away with my mediocre performance of the Bard’s immortal words. And I’ll just pretend to be in love with Portia.”  
Merlin found the beginning of the scene and found that he had the first line. “‘Is that anything now?’” He read.  
The two of them read through the scene a few times, then tried running through it without looking at their books. Neither one of them succeeded.  
“Damn, this is harder than it looks,” Merlin said. “And I thought it looked hard to begin with.”  
“I know. I don’t know how Arthur does it. Or Morgana, for that matter.”  
Merlin grabbed his water bottle out of his backpack and took a few gulps. It was almost empty. He was about to excuse himself to go refill it, when Gwen spoke up again. Well, sort of spoke up.  
“So…” she started, then stopped.  
“Yes?”  
Gwen hesitated. “This is probably really insensitive, and you probably get this all the time, but...how did you realize you were gay?”  
Merlin blew air out of his cheeks. “That’s a tough question. Especially since I realized that I was trans first, and then figured out that I was only interested in men.”  
“Okay.” She nodded a few times slowly. “How did you realize you were trans?”  
He laughed, kind of nervously. “That’s also a tough question. Like, I wasn’t one of those kids who knew they were trans as soon as they could talk. I mean, I guess I was kind of a tomboy, but I didn’t start having dysphoria until I was a preteen. And then I denied it for a long time or just assumed that it was a normal feeling and that everyone felt this kind of intense discomfort. But then I learned what transgender meant and realized that that’s what I am. If that makes sense.”  
“It does. Can I ask what coming out was like?”  
“My mom is really cool about stuff, so the change was a little hard for her at first, but she got used to it really fast. And my best friends back home were cool with it. I think they both saw it coming, too. But my home town is pretty backwards, and my high school as a whole was just awful.”  
She nodded slowly.  
“Well, that the Cliff’s Notes version of my story, anyway. I could give you the novel version, but I don’t think either of us have time for that at the moment.”  
“Maybe some other time.”  
“Sure.” He took another drink of water. “Why do you ask?”  
“Oh, no reason.” She shrugged, and waved her hand in the air. “I’m just curious. Probably too curious. If I crossed a line or anything I do apologize.”  
Merlin shook his head. “No, you’re good. You wanna run through the scene again?”  
She nodded and checked her phone. Merlin, though he was trying not to snoop, still saw that she had a text alert. It could technically be from anyone, but for some reason he just assumed it was from Arthur. She didn’t reply, instead turning her phone over and turning back to Merlin. “Top of the scene, Antonio,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter. Sorry if it was a bit of a short one. Anyway, if I need to add content warnings at the beginnings of any chapter, I will. I thought that I might need to give a warning for a dysphoria mention and transphobia mention, but I wasn't sure. Obviously I'll give a warning for sex scenes (though don't hold your breath for this fic lol), and there shouldn't be any kind of violence. Just let me know if any of you want these kinds of things tagged or not.  
> Chapter title from God, I Hate Shakespeare from Something Rotten  
> Happy reading!


	6. We've All Got Our Junk

Merlin wondered how often he could refresh his email before his computer crashed for good. It was an old machine, quite a clunky dinosaur, and while it took forever to load and was quite unwilling to connect to WiFi the majority of the time, it had held on for dear life long past its due date. Still, Merlin worried that he was going to send it to an early grave due to his anticipation for a campus job. Over a week ago, he’d submitted an application not only to Einstein’s Bagels, but also to the campus Moe’s and the bookstore. So far, he’d heard back from none of them. And he should probably get off of his email and actually do something productive, but Arthur was listening to music again and humming along under his breath. Merlin was a little bit more unnerved than usual because Arthur’s current poison of choice sounded more emo than Broadway.  
“What even are you listening to?” Merlin said, because he could never keep his mouth shut even when he wanted to.   
Arthur cut him a glance. “It’s Spring Awakening.”   
“Why don’t you ever listen to well known musicals?”  
That comment got the wanted response out of Arthur. He actually looked up from his homework and spun in his chair to give Merlin a proper eye roll. “Spring Awakening is a well known musical. Very well known. It won the Tony award for Best Musical in 2007?”  
Merlin shrugged. “If it’s so famous, how come I haven’t heard of it?”  
“Well, I don’t know,” Arthur said. He was practically spitting. “It’s not my fault you’ve been living under a rock. God, Merlin, you’re such a prat.”  
“Me?” Merlin said, feigning innocence. He should stop, he really should. It was really not smart to make an enemy of his roommate. Especially so early in the semester. But Merlin couldn’t help himself. It was so easy to rile Arthur up--not to mention so damn fun. “You think I’m the prat?” He continued. “You’re the one who constantly blasts his music.”  
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Just put on headphones if it bothers you so much.”  
“I wish I was able to turn the volume loud enough. Besides, I can’t concentrate with any music on.”  
“Then find somewhere else to study.”  
Merlin wasn’t teasing anymore. Now, he was just annoyed. “Why should I have to move? It’s my room too. I’m tired of having to stay in the lounge until midnight just to get all of my work done. It’s fricking exhausting. And apparently very annoying to all the couple’s whose makeout sessions I’m interrupting with my presence.”   
Arthur jumped to his feet, his desk chair rolling across the floor and bumping against Arthur’s bed from the sudden movement. He slammed his textbook shut. “Alright then. I’ll leave this time.”   
“Okay.” He shrugged.   
Arthur blinked. Maybe he was expecting Merlin to protest or apologize, but that was the last thing Merlin was going to do. A night alone, in his room, with no Broadway or Arthur’s looming presence? Yes, please.   
Arthur jerked the aux cord out of his phone. “I’ll just text Gwen, or Morgana, or maybe Lancelot to see if they want to hang out.”  
“Okay. Sounds fun.”  
When Arthur realized that Merlin wasn’t going to relent, he packed his bag, albeit very loudly. He finally left in a huff.   
Merlin breathed a sigh of relief, then refreshed his email once again.   
***  
“How long does it take to hear back about a job application?” Merlin asked the next day.   
Morgana looked up from her laptop. She was sprawled across Gwen’s bed, laying on her stomach and writing furiously on a research paper. Merlin had never seen her look so informal than she was here in Gwen’s room, her shoes kicked off and thrown on the floor, her hair tied in a ponytail, and big, square glasses falling down her nose. “Usually a week,” she replied. “If it’s any more than that, you probably aren’t going to hear from them at all.”  
“Dammit,” Merlin muttered.   
“Looking for a job?” Gwen asked, still hunched over the open textbook on her desk.   
“Yeah,” he said. “And apparently I need to keep looking.”  
“You can take my job,” Morgana muttered.   
“Wait, what do you do again?” He asked.   
“I tutor in the library’s writing center,” she replied. “So, I help people write essays.”  
“That sounds fun. How do I apply?”   
She made an apologetic face. “Sorry. It’s only for juniors and seniors.”  
“Dammit,” he muttered again.   
He started looking at more jobs on campus and even some in town, while Morgana and Gwen both turned back to their homework.   
Merlin leaned back against the bed of Gwen’s roommate. He’d thought it would be weird to actually sit on her bed, especially when she wasn’t there. Besides, based on how neatly her bed was made and how spotless she kept everything and how fancy everything looked, she would probably not appreciate a strange boy lounging on her bed. He looked up at her silky magenta bedspread, and the decorative letters she’d hung up on the wall spelling out her name: Vivian. Actually, now that he looked, she had her name on most of her things--monogrammed onto her pillows, printed across decorative mugs and pens, and her initials stitched onto a preppy white baseball hat.   
“Your roommate is rather into herself, isn’t she?” Merlin said.  
Gwen scoffed. “You got that right. She’s rather inconsiderate.”  
“Yeah,” Merlin replied. “I know what that’s like.”  
“Ha,” Morgana laughed. “Yeah, I shared a bathroom with Arthur for most of my teenage years. I can only imagine what sharing a room is like.”  
“It’s terrible,” he said.   
Gwen shot a look at Morgana. “Come on. Arthur can’t be that bad.”   
“He’s terrible,” Merlin said, at the same time Morgana exclaimed, “he’s really bad, just really inconsiderate.”  
Gwen shook her head, like she was trying to chastise them but was too amused to do it seriously. “I think you guys are just looking for something to complain about.”   
“Oh no. This is deathly serious.” Morgana feigned a scared expression, her eyes bugging out. “Get out while you still can.”  
All pretense of teasing faded from Gwen’s face. She studied Morgana, her eyebrows furrowed. Merlin noticed that Morgana’s cheeks had heated slightly, though she offered a smile and a shrug before returning her eyes to her laptop. He suddenly felt uncomfortable, like he was witnessing something he shouldn’t.   
Then there was a knock at the door, and Gwen sprang at the opportunity to escape the awkward situation. Merlin leaned forward to look through the doorway, and then groaned when he saw that he’d spoken of the devil and he had in fact appeared. In that it was Arthur there. Arthur was the devil.   
“Hey babe,” he said to Gwen.  
“Hey.” She said, stepping out of the doorway. “Come on in.”  
He nodded to Morgana. “Hey, Morgana.” Then, he noticed his roommate lounging on the floor. “Merlin,” he said, his voice decidedly more curt. “What are you doing here?”  
“Procrastinating my history homework,” he replied. “What are you doing here?”  
“Um, I came to see Gwen.” Arthur turned to her. “I just dropped by to see if you wanted to join me. I have a couple errands to run in town, and then I thought we could get some food. You know, make a date of it.”  
Gwen glanced away from him. “Oh, that’s so sweet.” Her eyes darted from her desk, to Merlin, then to Morgana. “I wish I could say yes, but I have a slew of work to do.”  
His shoulders slumped. “Okay,” he said. “I understand.”  
She pursed her lips together and glanced around again. “Well, I suppose I could take a little bit of time off.”  
“Really?” He smiled. “As long as you’re sure.”  
“Yeah. Just give me a moment to close everything up.”  
Morgana closed her laptop then and starting throwing things into her backpack, so Merlin did the same. “Have fun,” he said to Gwen on his way out. She offered him a weak smile.  
Merlin was no relationship expert, not by any means, but he got the sneaking suspicion that Gwen and Arthur wouldn’t remain a couple for much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next chapter ready to go, so I might update again fairly quickly.   
> Chapter title from My Junk from Spring Awakening.  
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Sure, Things Will Probably Worsen, But It’s Not Like He’s Some Healthy Person

Having his name shouted at him from across the cafeteria made Merlin freeze in his tracks, feeling as though he’d been caught shoplifting even though he was just getting lunch. He spun on his heel to see Gaius bounding towards him.  
“Merlin,” he said again. “How are ya, boy?”  
“Could be better,” he replied, adjusting his grip on his tray. “Then again, could be a lot worse too.”  
“Very true, very true. Is there anything in particular that could be better?”  
“I’m not doing very good in my Shakespeare class,” he admitted. “And I’m trying to find a job, but I haven’t heard back from anyone.”  
“Well then, you’re in luck.” Gaius clasped his hands together. “I’m looking for a TA, and you’re hired.”  
It took Merlin a moment to register what Gaius said. “What, really? Wait, you teach here?”  
He blinked in surprise, like he was slightly offended that Merlin was just now learning this. “Why yes, of course.”  
“What do you teach, exactly?”  
“World Religions, Comparative Religions” he said. “And Yoga.”  
That made so much sense.  
“Are you seriously hiring me? I mean, I’ll take it, but are you sure?”  
“Of course I’m sure. You’ll have to apply for the position online I’m afraid, just as a formality. When can you start?”  
“Whenever,” Merlin said. “I can send you my class schedule so you know when I’m in class.”  
“Great. Looking forward to working with you, my boy.” Gaius clapped him on the shoulder before he walked to the food line.  
Merlin: guys omg i just got a job, he typed out in the group text before he even sat down.  
Merlin: it’s with Gaius, but still.  
***  
Merlin prayed for the fire alarm to go off, or for a sudden, crippling heart attack to overtake him, or for an alien abduction, or something to happen so that he wouldn’t have to get in front of the Shakespeare class and deliver the scene with Gwen. She looked as nervous as he felt as she walked to the front of the class, though Merlin could hardly concentrate on her face. His heart was hammering so hard that his vision blurred slightly, and every noise in the room, from his Docs shuffling on the carpet to the whir of the air conditioning. His first line as Antonio echoed in his head, over and over.  
He must have said his line out loud, because Gwen managed to squeak out her first line as Bassanio. “‘Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing,’” she said. She managed to speak her next lines louder, though her tone remained flat.  
Merlin stumbled through every line, completely freezing more than once. On his list line, which was a long bit of dialogue, he stumbled over the phrase ‘neither have I money nor commodity,’ and Gwen had to prompt him because apparently he had completely forgotten how to speak.  
Arthur’s smug face there in the first row certainly wasn’t helping, especially since his expression softened as he nodded encouragingly whenever Gwen recited. There was no one in the audience to support Merlin, except for Gwaine, who shot him a thumbs up the first time he stumbled.  
After the damn scene was finally over, Merlin flopped back in his seat and sucked in a few breaths, his vision slowly returning to normal. The next group took the stage--well, took to the front of the class--and Merlin scribbled down a note and tossed it onto Gwen’s desk. _Old Bill would be so proud_ , it read.  
Merlin heard her snicker, then write a response to it on the same scrap of paper.  
_Poor bastard’s probably rolling over in his grave._  
He thought for a moment before writing down his response. _Pendragon will probably be joining him in the ground after my performance_. Merlin looked up at the professor, who had his head in his hand and was massaging his temple with his thumb.  
_After that performance?_ Gwen wrote. _I want to die too._  
***  
It was the following Monday before Merlin started his new job. After his last class of the day, he headed to Gaius’s office that until a few days ago, that he didn’t even know existed. It was located in the humanities department, a tiny little room, with not much more than a desk and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, but somehow, Gaius had managed to decorate it exactly like his apartment. He looked up from his computer when Merlin entered, his tiny wire frames perched on the end of his nose.  
“Merlin,” he greeted. “My, am I glad to have you as a TA. I swear, if I have to grade one more quiz, I’m going to retire, steal someone’s identity, and move to Alaska to pursue my dreams of living off the wilderness.”  
“That’s...elaborate.”  
Gaius stood, shuffling a giant pile of papers into a neat stack. “Here are the quizzes from two of my classes, and the answer key is there on top. Just go through all of them, and jot down on a post-it what time you finished. I trust you, so I know you won’t lie.”  
“Wait, where are you going?” Merlin asked.  
Gaius blinked at him, like he’d just asked him why the sky was blue or ‘what school do we go to, again?’ “I’m going to get dinner.” And then he scampered out the door.  
Merlin walked around the desk to sit down, only to find that Gaius didn’t have a desk chair. Of course he didn’t. This was Gaius, and Gaius couldn’t do anything in the traditional (easy) way. So instead, he had an exercise ball.  
After weighing his options, he grabbed the stack of quizzes and plopped down on the floor, propped up against the wall. Fortunately for him--and his homework schedule--each quiz was only ten questions long. Then again, he thought as he started on the first quiz, the longer he took in grading them, the more he would get paid.  
Just as Merlin finished grading the second quiz, his phone screen lit up on the floor beside him. It was a text from his mom.  
_Mom: Hey hon. Just wanted to check in on you and see you’re doing today :)_  
His mom texted him at least once a day to check up on him. He knew that she’d been having a hard time since he’d moved out, being all alone in their apartment and everything, but she seemed to be holding up okay. As well as could be expected, he supposed.  
_Merlin: just started my new job :) how are you?_  
She didn’t respond right away, so Merlin turned back to grading. Or at least, he tried to. It was awful warm in Gaius’ office. Merlin fanned his shirt away from his chest. He was tempted to take his denim jacket off, but he’d had to change out of his binder before he got there because he’d been wearing it all day, so if he did take his jacket off he would probably be too distracted by chest dysphoria to get anything done.  
_Mom: I’m alright. I’m not feeling too good, but I’ll be fine_  
Merlin frowned. His mom never complained, even when she actually had a reason to.  
_Merlin: are you sure you’re okay? Need anything?_  
 _Mom: Oh no, hon. I’ll be fine. It's just a cold._  
He couldn’t help but want to suggest she try essential oils, then shuddered at his own thought. Gaius’s weird, warm office was having a strange effect on him, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. I am really excited for the next chapter. It's going to be very...interesting. ;)  
> Thanks for reading, as always!  
> Chapter title from "I'm Breaking Down" from Falsettos

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading. I'm having a lot of fun writing this so far, and I should have chapter two up soon. Feel free to let me know what you guys think. I really appreciate comments.  
> Title from What Is This Feeling? from Wicked. Chapter title from Times Are Hard For Dreamers from Amelie. I'm going with a bit of a theatre theme since Arthur's a theatre kid in this au, but if you're not into theatre I think you can read this and not miss anything.  
> Also! I meant no harm or disrespect to anyone who enjoys essential oils, crystals, and those kinds of things.  
> Happy reading!


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